Original photo by Yuganov Konstantin/ Shutterstock
The holiday season is just around the corner, and with it a minefield of social situations. Some people thrive off this festive energy, but for others it can be a little much. How do you make sure everybody feels included and avoid gifting faux pas? Whether you’re made of merriment or a bit of a grinch, keeping these etiquette tips in mind can make the holidays a little easier on everyone.
Invite Holiday Guests Early
The holidays, in general, aren’t a great time for impromptu gatherings — so if you’re planning on hosting a celebration, make sure to get your invitations out early. It’s a busy time for most people, and they’ll want to plan accordingly. For small gatherings, as little as two weeks might be OK, but for larger gatherings, the Emily Post Institute recommends inviting guests up to eight weeks in advance.
Don’t Assume What Holidays Others Celebrate
In the United States, 85% of people celebrate Christmas — and that includes plenty of secular and otherwise non-Christian celebrations — so it can be easy to get caught up in that aspect of the winter holiday season. But 15% is a significant portion of the population, and assuming someone celebrates the same holiday can be a faux pas at best. Relatedly…
Other December Holidays Aren’t Christmas Substitutes
December is full of spiritual observances, including Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and the winter solstice. If you celebrate Christmas — the most visible and normalized of the bunch in America — it can be easy to lump all these holidays together, but doing so can be insensitive. If you’re invited to a holiday celebration you’re not as familiar with, ask your host about what’s appropriate, although some things are common sense, like not bringing red-and-green-wrapped gifts or non-kosher food to a Hanukkah celebration.
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If You Send a Newsletter, Don’t Brag
Some people send annual newsletters about their families along with holiday cards, and while the jury is still out on whether the practice is outdated or not, if you do send them, it’s best to be modest. Absolutely include accomplishments you’re proud of, but don’t cross the line into bragging.
Another tip for holiday newsletters: Only send them to people you think will be interested instead of including them with every card on your list.
Regift With Caution
Nobody wants a gift to gather dust on a shelf, and turning around and giving it to somebody who will appreciate it — often called regifting — is a great way to reduce waste and free up valuable shelf space. The trick is to pass it along carefully to avoid hurt feelings for both the original gifter and the new recipient. Make sure it still looks new and that it’s not personalized. You should also avoid regifting it to someone in the same social circle as the person who originally gave it to you.
Gift Wrapping Is Almost Universal — With a Few Finer Points
Cultures all over the world practice gift wrapping, but there are some finer points of etiquette that aren’t the norm in the United States. Purple can be viewed as unlucky in Italy, for example. In some East Asian cultures, blue, white, and black wrapping can remind people of funerals; red is a good bet instead. If you’re giving a gift in a culture you’re unfamiliar with, you might want to let a pro wrap it if budget allows.
In Some Cultures, Gift Refusal Is Customary
In China, Singapore, Taiwan, South Korea, and Japan, it’s considered polite to refuse a gift at first, so if a recipient rejects a gift, you should insist a little bit. That goes both ways — if someone in one of these countries offers you a gift, offer a soft refusal before accepting.
At the Office, Exchange Privately or Bring Enough To Share
We’re closer to some of our co-workers than others, so it makes sense you’d want to share a gift with your work friends. Just make sure you exchange your gifts privately away from co-workers you’re not bringing gifts for, ideally doing so outside the work environment altogether. Alternatively, you could bring something for the whole office, like some fresh-baked cookies, specialty candy, or fun pens.
Cards After January 1 Are Fine
Holiday cards are largely associated with Christmas, so it might seem like a faux pas to send one that arrives after December 25 — but even the etiquette experts at the Emily Post Institute note that cards can be sent a couple of weeks into the new year. If you’re trying to sever the card-sending tradition from religious observances, that may even be a preferable option for you!
Sarah Anne Lloyd is a freelance writer whose work covers a bit of everything, including politics, design, the environment, and yoga. Her work has appeared in Curbed, the Seattle Times, the Stranger, the Verge, and others.
